I understand that I should be writing more frequently, I really want to it’s just that I have to many thoughts on my mind and very less tends to come out when I actually start writing.
I would like to make this one thing clear that I am as fucked up in the head as anyone else and I am definitely not here to preach about how “mental health matters” or even spread “awareness” or how to deal with “mental health issues” because honestly I have absolutely no clue so as to how any of those things are done.
Most of my write-ups are personal experiences which I like sharing with the world because they say there’s always someone going through something similar in this world and I would just hope that someday someone pings me up and says, I feel better knowing that I am not the only fucked up person like I had always thought.
Most of the times I am very confused about everything in and around me. I fail to understand how my brain never gets tired. It’s almost like my brain is always high on caffeine. I have too many thoughts rushing through my mind every second. It’s almost a real time struggle because this stops me from being able to focus on any one thing at a time which is why I always sign up for more than I can deliver. It’s both blessing and a curse at the same time because even if the end result is good I tend to overwhelm myself a lot in the process.
I mostly try and keep myself busy so that I don’t have to face my real emotions , I have always been an escapist my first reaction to any difficult situation is to find the quickest way to get out of it, which by the way is also the reason behind my troubles. I have never really addressed the issues and at times when I wanted to the person in front would not be willing to so one way or the other the issues I have always tend to remain unattended and unacknowledged.
I personally feel that closure and answers are very important for everyone. It helps people understand, live and grow through the pain it’s only when the pain remains unaddressed it gets very deeply engraved onto your heart and starts reflecting in your day to day lives, it turns you into a cynic and willingly or unwillingly you start inflicting it upon people around you.
It’s saddens me very deeply to see this whole thing turn into a cool“trend“ , having “anxiety” is cool only till the time you don’t actually have it and you use it just to get out of situations. People fail to understand how insensitive they are being when they claim to have these issues just for the sake of publicity or to fit in or whatever.
This is clearly not something which should be celebrated and turned into some kind of publicity propaganda.
It’s very easy to say that “Mental health matters”, anything is easier to say when it becomes a slogan.
It’s only when a person has to deal with someone suffering from mental health issues on a very personal level they understand how much more difficult life is it for “the person” having those issues, than the person who has to deal with them. If only people actually knew and understood what they supported this world, it would have been a much better place to live in.